I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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