can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
