what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
