Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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