Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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