i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
