No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
