I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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