It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
