his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
