Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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