Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
