Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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