the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
