Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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