Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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