cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
