Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
