Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
