Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
