Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
