If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
