wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
