We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
