I can tuck mytits in my pants
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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