either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
