Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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