I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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