HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
