I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
