Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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