You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
