Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
