he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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