$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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