I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
