oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
