If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
