Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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