I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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