I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize