Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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