grandma shit on top of the toilet
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
