Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Randomize