i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you had me at cake vodka
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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