I want to make a zoo with you.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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