Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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