Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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