Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
