i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize