went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
