I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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