Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
