Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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