I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
