I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
two words: eviction party
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
