Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Drake has all the answers
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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