Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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