somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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