oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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